Today my baby turns 7. Each birthday gets harder and harder for me. Cohen changed me, made me a better person. The day he was born my greatest dream came true. I became a mommy. As I reflect on his life I see how I have grown right along with him. No matter how old he gets he will always be my baby.
I was looking through old photos of him and old journal entries and I found thisletter that I wrote right around the time he was turning 5. It made me tear up to think how much he has changed in just two years time.
To my cautious Cohen-
Oh the funny things you do....You constantly keep me on my toes with your question after question. (I love how you tell me it's only cause you are getting smarter). You amaze me daily. Yes it takes a lot of patience to answer every crazy thing that pops up in your mind (what is 10+5=1?). However I love watching your brain grow and develop, watching you soak everything in like a sponge! You are so smart, way beyond your little years. You are a computer wiz. I love watching as you figure things out on your own. You can't read, but you can still figure out which button says "games", which buttons says "back", and which button is "quit" or "close" all through problem solving and letter recognition. Not only are you smart, but you are sweet. You give hugs and kisses. Sometimes you wipe them off, but I tell you mommy kisses are FOREVER (said in the voice from the sandlot ;). You are very encouraging. You use expressional words like "mommy this dress is BEAUTIFUL!" or "mommy this would be soooooo cute for the baby". You are such a good big brother already, and the baby is only a few weeks old. You think he is the cutest baby in the world. You say you are ready for him to play with you, but you also want him to stay a baby because of how cute he is.
You are a little shy, but I love watching you slowly open up. Just in the past few weeks you've started really talking to kids you may not know and really playing well with them. I watched you play with a little girl who was only 2 1/2. You were jumping on the trampoline with her. You didn't know I was watching, but every time she would fall you would stop bouncing and wait for her to get up before you starting jumping again. I love how you love life, and how the smallest things mean the world to you. Like snuggling with mommy during a movie. You pay such a attention to details. You want to collect every small figurine you see. You don't try and break mommy's bank. You know the limit, and you obey. You try and get the most for your money. If you have $5 you will ask how you can get two things and stay in budget. You have a great memory. You bring up things from the past and we reflect on them together.
The best part about your personality is your love for Jesus. I love how He is a part of our daily conversations. I love when others tell me things that you say to them (reminding your little friends that Jesus is always watching). I love the way you pray hands folded face down to the ground. I love when we talk about Heaven and Grandpa Dave. There is nothing more I could desire for your life than to watch you grown in the Lord and for you to bring others along with you. You are so innocent and sweet and I wish you could stay four forever. So even though the house is never quiet and you follow me like a shadow. Though I can't even move into the next room without you saying "mommy where are you going?". Though every morning when I'm getting ready you are smashed right up behind me playing with all the toys you have drug into my dressing room and it seems every time I go to put the eyeliner on is right when your superhero flies through the air and nudges my arm. I wouldn't trade this time for anything because I know all too soon it won't be "cool" to attached at the hip with mom. I will miss having you right next to me. I will miss having you sit in my lap and kissing your sweet face. So my dear Cohen please NEVER change! NEVER lose your joy and your love for your family and most of all continue to be a shining light for Jesus.